Nec timeo Nec Sperno (muffytaj) wrote in the_good_crack,
Nec timeo Nec Sperno

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Blood and Flowers - Chapter 15

Yes, there was a huge delay, and yes, I do suck. I was off writing bible porn *ashamed* *only not really*

Anyway, time for chapter 15 of Blood and Flowers, where we find out what, exactly, is going on!

Blood and Flowers - 15/?

The sudden appearance of the two shinigami and the kunoichi would, not doubt, make for a scintillating drama. However, due to the intense focus on the good guys, the villains of our piece have been sadly neglected.

Yes, let us swivel in our chairs and take a look at what Voldemort (did any of your doubt he was at the heart of this?) was up to.

He was currently staring into a dark bubbling cauldron that he had borrowed from Ursula the other week, comminunicating with his one true love. They had met online, in an Evil_Overlords chat, discussing the flaws in Peter’s Evil Overlord List.

One thing had lead to another, and soon Oro_chan and Riddle_Me_This were involved in a torrid online love affair. Neither of their henchmen knew about this (henchmen could be such jealous creatures!) and each wore a bracelet made from the other’s snake’s cast-off skin.

It was all very romantic, as you can imagine.

They had taken their relationship up to the next level, and as Voldemort stared in Oro_Chan’s beautiful visage, he knew he had found his queen to reside over a muggle-free world with him.

Even her voice was perfect! Deep and melodious, it reminded him of the hum a killing curse made as it slipped through the air.

And Voldemort needed a queen desperately, because he had in his possession the only man who stood between him and world domination. Well, more like the only boy. But that didn’t sound dramatic or particularly evil, so Voldemort had ordered everyone to refer to Harry as a man.

Yes, Voldemort had finally captured Harry and friends. After years of plotting, planning, fucking up and being laughed at by the world for being defeated by a little boy (MAN, DAMMIT!) Voldemort was finally on top of the situation.

And, by tonight, he hoped to be on top of Harry.

Yes, Harry’s virginity was the key to his world domination, and that very night Voldemort planned on anally violating Harry and watching his virgin blood blow to fill up a pentagon or something suitably gothic.

It was all incredibly nefarious and evil, and that's why Snape, determined to make good his promise to Dumbledore, the only man he had ever truly loved (before Gai, who he wasn’t quite sure if he loved or hated or just plain lusted after) who he had killed in cold blood. Umm... anyway, Snape planned to bust Harry, Hermione and Ron out of Voldemort’s home, and kill Voldemort once and for all!

But for now, Voldemort stared down into his beloved's face, and giggled coyly.
Tags: blood and flowers, muffy
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