Oh god, what the hell did I just write? I’m not even cruel enough to blame ew_younerd for this, even though she inspired me. Um, this is OC/Sasuke, Kishimoto/Sasuke, Neji/Gai, Kakashi/Sakura/Naruto/Sasuke and Gai/Sasuke. Crack. Deliberately Bad Angst. Vague porn.
Is there a special hell for me?
“And this… Kishimoto,” the doctor said, tapping his pen in on clipboard, “Says that he knows how to give you power to kill your brother?”
Sasuke gave him a sharp nod.
“What does he have you do?”
“Make my uke face,” Sasuke said, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks. ( Collapse )
"Naruto," Tsunade said very seriously, "this discovery could change the entire fate of our village."
"But old lady Tsunade!" Naruto cried, "This means I'll be way too busy to become Hokage!"
"How can you even hope to be Hokage if you won't make sacrifices for the village?" Tsunade asked, and raised her hand against the blazing fury in Naruto's eyes "Yes, I know, with the Kyuubi in you you've already made many sacrifices, but this could save so many people! Sasuke might have just been a coincidence, but Neji, Gaara AND Itachi?"
Naruto rubbed his butt. "Itachi took a lot of work." He muttered.
"Nevertheless Naruto, you have been given a gift! Any man that comes into contact with your arsehole immediately becomes a better person! Why, even Kakashi agreed to take you on as his student after just pushing his fingers inside!"
Naruto bit his bottom lip, his shiny blue orbs glimmering with unshed tears. "But I hate being bottom!"
"I'm sorry Naruto, but I must ask you to sacrifice your training and missions in order to have sex with all the psychopaths and jerkwads in our country. It is the only way to end these wars once and for all!"
Naruto hung his head, and sighed. "Yes old lady Tsunade. I accept my destiny."