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Blood and Flowers 17/?

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Aug. 2nd, 2006 | 12:24 am
mood: bouncybouncy
music: Signal to Noise
posted by: muffytaj in the_good_crack

I should probably get around to posting all the insane crack I've come up with. Later. Right now it's time for...

Blood and Flowers - 17/?



Now, you’re probably wondering why, exactly, Snape needed so many people to rescue Harry. Well, the answer is simple: Voldemort had finally gotten off his bony butt, and kidnapped Harry, Hermione and Ron. And since the security for three people would be higher than one, and the fact that Voldemort had actually managed to kidnap the three mean the risks were much higher. Voldemort was learning! Although he hadn’t gotten quite as far as putting them in separate cages.

“Hermione, do you have a plan?” Harry whispered, “This golden bikini is starting to chafe.”

“I’m thinking Harry,” Hermione said, but there was a strange glaze to her eyes as she stared straight ahead, coincidentally directly at a tied up Draco.

“Voldemort said he would be raping us at midnight – we’ve only got a few hours left!” Ron whispered pointlessly.

“Yes Ron, we know.” Harry said, in a very stiff, British way. And then he hugged Ron for comfort, in a very manly, straight way. And then he let his hand drift down in a very bisexual, horny way. “I don’t want to die a virgin.” He whispered in Ron’s ear. “Please Ron, make me feel good.”

The ensuing moans were enough to shake Hermione out of her stupor, and the boys were more than happy to let her join in.

They were all the best of friends, after all.

Draco, on the other hand, was not happy about the threesome occurring in front of him. His father had ordered him to be tied up, claiming that it would make everything seem ‘much sexier’. And Draco never disobeyed his father. He only wished he had a hand free.

But as the rescue party advances to help them all out of this mess, we must go back to the people left in Snape’s house.

Sakura and Renji were looking at each, communicating their long history of frustrated love through eye contact alone. Byakuya, still not trusting himself to look at Sakura with her tight clothing, but considerably relieved that his little sister was alive, was sulking because he’d been left behind. He needed to protect his little sister! Didn’t that absurd green man realise that?

Zuko was looking around himself in confusion. His uncle had not taken the time to explain very much to him, just that they were going ‘beyond the fire nation’s reach’ and that an old friend had called in a favour. He had presumed it had something to do with the white lotus club.

But from the way these people moved, they had some sort of martial arts technique he had never encountered before. Ever since his uncle had started teaching him waterbending moves, he had been extremely conscious of the different styles people used when fighting, honing his skills until he could tell how a person fought just from their walk.

But he did not understand how these people walked.

“You,” he said, pointing at Sakura (since her staring contest with the red head was starting to freak him out) “what do you call your fighting style?”

“Me?” Sakura, disturbed from her silent conversation, blinked. “I'm a kunoichi, of course.”

“Teach me.”

For a moment Sakura considered laughing. Her, teach this stranger the secrets of her village? But then she remembered what Kakashi had said. They were supposed to be backup!

Maybe teaching him one or two basic moves wouldn’t hurt...

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Comments {7}

angry female EXTREMIST

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from: a_white_rain
date: Aug. 1st, 2006 02:30 pm (UTC)
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oh yes.

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Nec timeo Nec Sperno

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from: muffytaj
date: Aug. 1st, 2006 02:37 pm (UTC)
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I even snuck in some plot details there. Very sneaky of me *grins*

(How is the Sakura/Zuko or Sakura/Katara with no Sasuke whatsoever going? *evil grin*)

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angry female EXTREMIST

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from: a_white_rain
date: Aug. 1st, 2006 02:40 pm (UTC)
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And covered it with crack!

(I... I haven't started it yet. With no Sasuke, it's hard.)

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Nec timeo Nec Sperno

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from: muffytaj
date: Aug. 7th, 2006 02:08 pm (UTC)
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Well that's kind of my M.O.

(I've started your SakuSasu. Now let's see if you are up to my challenge! Bwahaha!)

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angry female EXTREMIST

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from: a_white_rain
date: Aug. 7th, 2006 02:25 pm (UTC)
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(I will.)

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