?

Log in

the_good_crack

more crack drabbles

« previous entry | next entry »
May. 10th, 2006 | 08:50 pm
posted by: a_white_rain in the_good_crack

Ichigo never got this ‘sex’ thing. Just flat out didn’t interest him. He was much more into insanely protecting everything that moved to childishly make up for killing his mother.

That is, until he saw him.

The pale, smooth skin skin. The endlessly dark eyes. The duck butt hair that looked like it was silky to the touch.

Ichigo sudden desire to push him against the wall and touch his naughty bits was overwhelming. He’s never felt this way before. He had grown hot and there was humming in the back of his mind.

He didn’t even realize what he was doing until he walked over to him and began to pet his cheek.

The kid froze for a moment before slapping his hand away and the two of them glared at each other before getting into a fight.

In the end, Ichigo won, straddled his hips and happily molested the kid, who mewled and tried half-heartily to get Ichigo off of him.

Oh yes. Ichigo now knew the joys of sex.

All thanks to the duck butt hair kid with silky hair and smooth skin.

-

“And,” Sasuke said, his voice edging on gleeful, “Orochimaru spent the entire night crying at my words and scorning my name for wounding his soul!”

The pillow gave him a dry look before shaking the top part of itself slightly. “Sasuke, I know Orihime is your favorite character ever, but really, you don’t pull off the crack like she does.”

Sasuke glared at the pillow before turning his head to the side and folding his arms.

The pillow sighed, the kid was such a brat, before edging over to him and patting his shoulder.

Sasuke didn’t relax at all.

The pillow began to touch his cursed seal, and the child began to moan, leaning towards his touch, like the slut he was.

“Now, now, Pillow will make it all better…”

-

The pillow had been having a nice day, just chilling and watching some TV and thinking about Sasuke’s smooth skin and looking forward to touching him. It was one of those days you don’t remember, but full of contentment all the same.

That is, until he walked in on the blanket and Sasuke. The blanket had Sasuke tied up to the headboard as it rubbed his nipples and rubbed his cock. Sasuke, like the slut he was, had his eyes closed as he moaned and thrust into the blankets’ touch.

The pillow stormed over to them, tore off the blanket, and glared at Sasuke, who actually shrunk back, afraid.

The pillow took a deep breath, he knew the child was a slut, and couldn’t turn down any form of sex at all. He kicked the blanket away and sat on the bed.

“You know our deal.”

“No,” Sasuke said, shaking his head. “Never.”

“Sasuke,” the pillow said firmly, “I don’t enjoy doing this at all, but I have to at least TRY and teach you right from wrong. Assume to position.”

“Can get someone else who’s not so picky,” Sasuke muttered.

The pillow crossed its ends, “One you may be able to top?”

Sasuke glared at him but stood up and leaned against the side of the bed.

After ten lashes of the whip, Sasuke’s face was flushed and eyes were red. The pillow wasn’t sympathetic, and only pointed to the corner when Sasuke gave him a pathetic ‘hold me’ look.

The pillow sat on the bed and began to read the latest volume of Bleach as Sasuke stood quietly with his nose pressed in the corner.

-

Naruto and Sasuke glared at each other.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Sasuke said.

“Yes you are,” Naruto said, taking several quick steps over to Sasuke, while Sai cheered in the background. “You’re coming home with us.”

“Nu-uh,” Sasuke said, shaking his head, looking gayer then ever, if that was possible.

“Yes-huh!” Naruto said, nodding his head and grabbing a handful of Sasuke’s shirt.

The two of them stared at each other, clearly about to have a heart-breaking fight (if, you know good angst was still possible in Naruto world), however, before a heart-breaking fight could occur, Sakura walked over to Sasuke and set her hand on his shoulder. “Please, Sasuke-kun?”

Something overcame Sasuke and he nodded slightly and followed her as he walked over to Yamato and Sai.

“What?” Naruto said. “No fight or… Sakura just had to ask?”

“While you’ve been wasting your Jesus powers on random people,” She gave a pointed look to Sai, “I’ve been saving mine up for three years.”

-

Lee couldn't believe it! Gai-sensei and Neji were together. Without him. Gai-sensei had a bond he couldn't share.

Lee's life, as he knew it, was over.

He sniffed and grabbed the knife he'd taken with him and began to cut his wrists and tried to come up with a poem that would capture the depths of his angst.

"Hey!" Sasuke said, standing over him and glaring at him. "My job is to angst." He bit his lip and lowered his head. "And it's not like you're the worst off. You still have a bond with Gai, but he turned be down for Neji. And his angst isn't as half as special as mine."

Lee blinked and grinned. He set the knife down and stood up. He set both of his hands on Sasuke's shoulders. "You are right, of course! Thank you for showing me the light. And while I'm not as nearly as great as Gai-sensei, I'll try and be there for you."

He then shoved Sasuke against a nearby tree and kissed him with all the passion of his youth.

Link | Leave a comment | Share

Comments {8}

sanguine_ary

(no subject)

from: sanguine_ary
date: May. 11th, 2006 02:27 am (UTC)
Link

I heart pillow x sasuke. ^_^

Reply | Thread

angry female EXTREMIST

(no subject)

from: a_white_rain
date: May. 11th, 2006 02:43 am (UTC)
Link

pillow is the firm figure that sasuke needs in his life.

Reply | Parent | Thread

riri

(no subject)

from: shinobi_genius
date: May. 11th, 2006 03:16 am (UTC)
Link

I love you, you amazingly amazing person. *-*

Reply | Thread

angry female EXTREMIST

(no subject)

from: a_white_rain
date: May. 11th, 2006 06:33 am (UTC)
Link

Crack wins. XD

Reply | Parent | Thread

(Deleted comment)

angry female EXTREMIST

(no subject)

from: a_white_rain
date: May. 11th, 2006 08:17 am (UTC)
Link

Thanks. Crack is my forte.

Reply | Parent | Thread

MercuryChaos

(no subject)

from: mercurychaos
date: May. 11th, 2006 12:30 pm (UTC)
Link

Sasuke you whore! ^_^

Reply | Thread

angry female EXTREMIST

(no subject)

from: a_white_rain
date: May. 11th, 2006 12:32 pm (UTC)
Link

Sasuke needs to be whored out more.

Reply | Parent | Thread

MercuryChaos

(no subject)

from: mercurychaos
date: May. 12th, 2006 11:21 pm (UTC)
Link

I agree.

Reply | Parent | Thread